All I want for Christmas is a DSLR.

Well, I hope someone can give me that mostly my Mom. I'm hoping she will give one like that on Christmas, it's my wish ever since 2010 started or even last year 2009.
How does people easily say to earn for what you want when what you want is too expensive? Do I have to earn all of it just me? A 14 year-old kid who has only 100 pesos money in a day and 50 pesos transport fee and I don't even eat snacks anymore.... Why? It's because I'm earning my money but still, it's not enough.
I'm still upset with a couple of things actually.

Sayang na pagmamahal.

Hindi pa ako nakapagmove-on 100 percent sa kanya dahil sa tuwing pinag-uusapan namin siya ni Seigfrey nalulungkot ako.Alam ko mali itong nararamdaman ko, pero wala akong magawa may natitira pa rin akong pagmamahal sa kanya.

Alam mo yung masakit? Hindi niya ako minahal. Oo naging kami, pero last year ko lang nalaman na hindi niya talaga ako minahal, hindi niya ako sineryoso. Ang sakit! Dahil after all those times, lahat ng luha ko, lahat ng pagmamahal na ipinakita ko sa kanya ay nasayang lang.

Wala na daw pag-asa para magbago siya, sayang. Sayang talaga.

Ang hirap talaga pag mahal na mahal mo ang isang tao, dahil kahit 3 taon na ang lumipas may natitira ka pa ring pagmamahal sa kanya.

There are just some things that you thought was perfect but in the end, it never was.

FRIENDSHIP.

Meron akong barkada simula noong kagitnaan ng school year ng SECOND YEAR. PEro ngayong 3rd Year medyo lumalayo na dahil sila-sila na lang ang magkakasama-sama. Tawag kasi namin sa grupo namin ay SSLGG, meaning SHANNEN, SHENG, LOUISE, GLEI, GRACE. Ako si Sheng, pero lumayo na ako sa kanila tiyaka lagi namang sila SHANNEN,LOUISE,GLEI AT GRACE ang magkakasama at mostly ayaw ko kasama si Louise. Ayaw ko talaga (MINSAN). Feel ko tuwing nasa room ako pag maingay o nagpapatahimik ako sumasampitaw siya kumbaga parang nagpapatama at natatamaan ako. Ayaw ko din ugali niya, masyado siyang mayabang,patama at yung sobran siya sa pagiging TOTOO(HINDI PLASTIK). Oo siguro tama yung maging totoo ka, pero hindi lahat ng bagay ay dapat mong i-BULGAR sa harap ng isang tao. Dapat i-lugar mo sarili mo at mga sinasabi mo. Siya na rin ang laging kasama nila SHANNEN,GLEI AT GRACE. Kaya naman nila na wala ako. Sila na yung bagong group of friends.

Kaya ako ngayon, pansin na ito ng iba na sumasama ako sa ibang tao(maitatawag din na kaibigan). Mas okay na siguro ito para naman mabago rin, mas nakaka-focus nga ako sa studies ko. Mas kaya kong amging independent, mas kaya kong tumayo sa sarili kong paa. Tiyaka para sa akin masaya ako ngayon dahil nakaka-bonding ko yung iba’t iba kong classmate, kahit minsan nakakalungkot ang walang kausap,masasanay din ako. Sabi nga nung sa RECOLLECTION, kahit iwan ka na nga mga kaibigan mo, nandiyan pa rin ang pamilya mo hindi ka iiwan dahil kadugo mo sila at mahalaga ka para sa kanila kahit anong gawin mo.

I love doodling you know. I don't know how many doodles I've already made because I think half of them were already gone. I gave it to my friend because he wanted to. :)
This doodle was for our decoration in our room.
Cute. :)

3rd Year high School.

3rd Year high school life is so hard. I know this is just the beginning, not the beginning actually. This is only the easy part of it.
I always experience MAJOR HEADACHES. Tears always fell down from my eyes, knowing I can't cope with some lessons.
I hate it when shit like that happens. Assignments are given every time. Please one at at time. We students also need some rest. :(
I don't what will I look like after a school year. I feel so stressed and always tired. How about the next days, it will be more harder as the lesson goes by.
So I just have to strive hard to understand.

Basta't kasama kita iba ang nadarama kong saya

Ikaw ang nagpapasaya as akin. Ikaw ang nagbibigay buhay sa akin. Sa tuwing ako'y malungkot makita o makausap ka lang ay pwede na.
Sana lagi ka nandiyan sana hindi mo ako iwan. Mahal na mahal kita.

Monthsary

Tomorrow is our 8th monthsary. I will be the one to greet him.
It's just the way I am.
I love him soo much. :)It's been 8 months we're sharing our love for each other.

Kapag kasama ko siya...

Kapag kasama ko siya, nakakalimutan ko ang lahat. Lahat ng lungkot na nararamdaman ko, lahat ng paghihirap na naranasan ko.
Pati ang oras nakakalimutan ko. Pag kasama ko siya may halong saya at lungkot dahil alam ko magkakahiwalay din lang kami at mamimiss ko nanaman siya.

Proud to help someone

Tomorrow I'll go out, I'll go to my dentist and SECRETLY go and see my BF. Well, first I'll go see him then I'll go to my dentist and then after that I will go to this bakery it's called FTM where I think they sell those "Breathe Hope Bracelets".
It's for baby Jon, well I think he needs 1 million pesos for that machine to make him feel better. And so I'm helping him.

Unknown

Sabi ng lola ko 'bastos daw ako,walang hiya and many others'. But for me that's NOT ME, she may see or tell herself that I'm like that but I'm not. It's kind of weird though, my attitudes are not the same when I'm outside the house and when I'm inside the house. I think when I'm here inside the house I'm kind of a "demon". But when I'm outside the house, you can see that I'm the most happiest person in that certain area. I don't but for me knowing myself, the real me is when I'm outside the house.
It just hurts my feelings when someone said words like that to me because I'm like that to them. But the more I can respect it, I will respect it.
I don't get it why other people is always like that.
I know myself more than they do know me. Even if they're my family, doesn't mean that they know me more than others. I know myself more than they know me. So they have no right to say words like that to me.
With those words it makes my happiness in life 1 percent lesser. But it also makes me stronger.

Missing Him

The last time we saw each other was June 2, 2010. Yes, it was just 5 days from now. But I already miss him, I'm always like this even after we saw each other I already miss him. I don't know why, but I'm always happy when I'm with him. I think it's just the way we are, it's just that we really love each other. That proves our 7 months relationship as a couple right now, but we've know each other for 3 years.

A Good Morning to start another day of my life

Hopefully, this day will be great. I'm not expecting that much because me and my brother always fought each other. Oh well, still hoping it'll be a good day.

Goodnight to me.

Wishing my dreams will be a beautiful dream. Well, actually I will just go to bed and lay down but I will not sleep I'll watch first and have a chat with my past Boyfriend who didn't show up this night. He always send me messages when the clock hits 10 pm or 11 pm... I don't even know what time he sleeps. Weird.

School is Back!

Summer days ae almost over. This coming June 15,2010 back to school again. I need to concentrate on my studies now. I don't want to see failing grades on my report card. From now on, I will do my best to have a good grade.

Happy to choose him as the love of my life

Since I was grade 6, the first time I saw him I already fell in love with him. Even if I had past boyfriends after we broke up because of me being stupid, I still love him. That feeling for never changed, he was like the only guy that I loved so much and will ever love.
Age doesn't matter when love is true. I don't care if he's 6 years older than me. I don't care what others will say. I love him and that's all that matters.
Me and Him forever. That will never change.

Expectations

I was expecting him to came but he didn't showed up. I was suppose to gave him a doodle that I made especially for him. Well he's not my boyfriend, he was my EX Boyfriend but we're friends right now. He told me hours before I was expecting him to come, that he will get this doodle this night. But that didn't happened, expecting him to came but didn't came made me sad. I don't know why he's like that.